29/05/2026
We see it everyday, you must know what I'm writing about! YES?.
OK, here's a clue.
Seeing daft people doing daft things causing disruption to many or just making themselves look stupid.
Something has to be done to unlock the next level.
So! Heres a thing, apparently when you are 18 years old 2 bottles of prosecco doesn't affect you! You get out of the taxi 🚕 and just like something out of the exorcist you vomit, vomit far enough to win a distant champion medal in the summer Olympics.
When I was 18 (in a land far far away, called Essex) I could drink for England, eat a crappy take away kebab, a spicy hot 🌶 🔥 pizza, several shots before bed and still feel rough the following day. Not much has changed, I'm now 57 and it's a hangover after 1 bottle of red or 3 pints of theakstons old peculiar.
The other funny thing that happened today was the carer who forgot to put her charges wheelchair brakes on, oh! How i laughed at that. Frank Spencer would have been proud of that.
I do believe that every stupid action should have a humerous reaction, I think the face on the wheelchair user was more hilarious than on the carers. If this had been close to a road, it could have ended very different.
If you've ever travelled in the BWT, with me G's Taxi Selby you will know that an open door, handbrake on etc causes a ding d**g to ding d**g. So imagine my amusement when a young lad at the taxi rank cash machine. Pulled his money out and the BWT ding d**ged, he went back to the cash machine twice before he realised it wasn't him, it was me. I could have played that game all day.
My favourite thing today though is the 4 way traffic lights along Selby's high street. I've played a game, called 'how many cars will chief mobile phone user, in charge of lighting control, let through on the next set of changes'.
To be fare he did a great job when other council vans were in the queue so it was usually around 7 vehicles. The worst was 3 vehicles when Ethel in her Fiat 500 stalled her car for the 3rd time and then caused aggravation for the 612 cars behind her.
12 gold bars, what a cracking Status Quo album that is, I'm beginning to think that our local council could use some of that gold to fix the potholes, or as i like to call them, real life dodgems, maybe the 'it won't ever swing bridge' will be fixed in time for the old 317 year old toll bridge to be serviced, this usually takes several weeks usually overnight run by a team of youths who watch YouTube videos 'how to fix bridges and influence people' it's a great channel, check it out.
Finally for today, please stop moaning about the heat unless you are an Eskimo and your igloo is melting. We rarely see 7.3 days of continuous sunshine in the UK, so let's make the most of it, and enjoy it.
That's it for now, more to follow soon.
Need a taxi 🚕 07484 758254
