07/10/2026
Regulation doesn’t mean calm.
I talk a lot about Emotional Fitness. It’s something I’m trained to support you with.
Being emotionally fit doesn’t mean you become so good at managing yourself that nothing knocks you around anymore.
It doesn’t mean you will never get angry, frustrated, disappointed, overwhelmed or anxious.
And it doesn’t mean the goal is to get yourself back to “calm” as quickly as possible.
You can be angry and still choose what you do with that anger.
You can be disappointed without letting disappointment make the decision.
You can be rattled and still notice the story you’re telling yourself.
You can feel uncertain without immediately reaching for control just to make the feeling go away.
That’s the part of Emotional Fitness I’m most interested in.
What happens when you’re not calm?
Can you notice what’s happening within you?
Can you recognise the old response that wants to kick in?
Can you feel what you’re feeling without automatically letting it drive what you do next?
Calm might come afterwards.
But calm isn’t the goal.
Having the awareness is.
That’s where the power move lives.
Because awareness brings choice.
You catch yourself sooner, so you can choose what happens next instead of writing it off as “just who I am.”